I realize it's been many many days since the last post, Snot. I apologize to my legions of adoring fans, hopefully this post, with all it's aspects will make up for the time lost. Not really, I just don't have that much fun stuff to talk about, but when something does tickle my fancy I will surely write and lo, here I am. Lot of things happening, like everyone I celebrated MLK day by moving crap from my aunt's house to my grandma's house. Not a bad day, considering it was like 8 freakin' degrees. Ok, now the fun. My little family has been quite sick with the flu and whatnot. My middle boy Trey is 3 and kind of a smart ass kid. He's had what he refers to as the "smokes." Whenever Trey has the runs, the squirts, tank tracks, etc. in his pants he calls them the smokes. Trey also refuses to take a dump, smokes and non-smokes, with the toilet seat down. He instead enjoys the cold, hard porcelain. Even in the winter--What a goof! So anyway, after wiping Trey's behind a good 8 times on Sunday my mind was on the toilet. Now I realize this is rare so bare with me. I recalled a conversation with my old friend let's call him "The Whopper." Whopper was trying to convince me it's better for a guy to take a piss sitting down like a woman. So we debated about this for some time. I can't believe it's easier--I know it's not easier. Guys just stand, zip, urinate! It's an easy three-step method that has been honored since the dawn of time. So I left that conversation thinking he was the only freak I knew. Now I find out that I have another good friend also enjoys peeing like the fairer sex. My question is the hell guys? I mean, damn. Half the fun of being a guy is peeing standing up, using a urinal at a ball game, in and out. Not waiting in line like the chicks do and miss the whole 3rd quarter. If you want to be a chick grab yourself some Julia Roberts hooker boots, do a grab and tuck down under, and where some nice cute Teddy. But please don't attempt to convince me that peeing is better sitting than standing. So what if us "standers" miss the water and piss on the sit, wall, or other item in the bathroom. Alright now. Go and Pee in peace.
4 comments:
Josh-I love the picture, but who really has a crapper outside their house! :) I like that middle kid of yours....he has quite the personality. You need to keep a list of all his funny quarks....it will really come in handy at his wedding lunch.
I laughed out loud, very loud in fact, at "the smokes". That is hilarious. I like that Trey. You've raised him well:)
I generally piss on the floor every night...its hard to pee standing up in the dark. You just wait for the sound and if you don't hear the sound of pee hitting water then you adjust and hope you quickly find the toilet.
ROTFLMBO!
I'm glad we had this discussion during the weekend. If you are a guy and you don't pee standing up, I don't care what the excuse is...the only time a guy should sit to pee is if some cable needs to be laid. Crazy?! Maybe...proud to be a standing-peer? Hell yes.
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