Photo Booth Fun

What up party people? Sorry for the lags between posts. Its been tough to find the time. However, here is our family's latest fun, our photo booth program on the mac. Much love to all the peeps from the OKC peeps.

Devin the Speed Racer

Check out little 18 month old Devin. He could be this generations Evil Knievel. Heather took this little video today at our new place in Oklahoma City. What a rad kid.

WWKLD

Here at law school, along with some friends here, I've adopted a new motto for life. When you are in trouble, when life gets you down, whenever you are faced with a tough decision, you now ask yourself, WWKLD?

My friends, what would Kenny Loggins Do? I'll tell you what you do, in any sitation. You grow a beard, you make a catchy hit for a movie, i.e. "Danger Zone" (the Highway to). My friends, you do those magically two steps life will work. Thank you Kenny, thank you for inspiring us to live a better dream, we love you! Now go and always think and remember Kenny Loggins. God Speed.

Chicken Wings Taste Good

In honor of my dear mate SDD, here is what Heather and I ate for supper from a new favorite, wingstop here in the OKC. I recommend the Atomic Hot, Heather's favorite is the Cajun. I love Lamp, I love Chicken.

I need me a Linebacker--Hubba Hubba

I forgot how great Terry Tate is. Please enjoy this helping of Office Linebacker.

Happy Labor Day

In honor of our holiday let us honor our country with idiots! Alright. I swear by watching this you WILL be smarter, so enjoy--and much love from the Berndt's in Oklahoma City. We miss all our friends!

Brokeback Love

Love is in the air friends. Beautiful love.

Warm and Fuzzy

It is something so wonderful when an athlete gives back to a good cause like the United Way! We should take notes from this fine young man and give back. Be a mentor. Take care of yourselves and each other.

The Classics!

Just a quick little post because I am supposed to have my nose in my books. I've been in law school two full days now, it feels like rough 200 trillion million, as James might say. Loooong. Rough. Confusing. Anyhow enough pissin.' As a former sportscaster I always love it when a former collegue hits the big time. Here is the greatest of all-time, the Ali of sports!

Back and Ringing a Bell

In the immortal words of the great poet Vanilla Ice, "I'm back and I'm ringing a bell . . .I'm stepping hard whilst the fly girls yell." Indeed Sir Ice, indeed. My family and I moved again a few weeks back, hence the lag in this fine piece of pop culture known as the farting to fight terrorism blog. Anywho, Heather, the boys and I now sit in beautiful Oklahoma City, the capital thanks! For the most part we like it a lot but the humidity blows. Law school starts for me this weekend, so life as we know it will cease to exsist for three fun filled years. Also, here are some gem pictures to make you laugh. Rock on party people.

Manscaping

As I get older there are many disappointing things in life. One, my hair is indeed not coming back. Two, I am getting more and more hair in my ears, why? Three, I still get zits. And my topic of the day is the fourth, back hair.

Please understand I am not covered at all, I'm pretty tame a few here and there. And for some reason back hair loves moles. I'm sure there's plenty of back hair lovers out there and these gems are for you. Much love to the apes of the world!

P.S.--I wore two different shoes to work today.

The Dramatic Chipmunk or Prairie Dog

The Most Amazing Chipmunk or Prairie Dog, whatever it is, mine eyes have ever beheld. You can't watch this just one, it becomes an addiction!

Ink for Me . . . Finally

Finally "The Man" givin' me some love.

http://www.sltrib.com/sports/ci_6196319

Enjoy Your Meal Now You Hear!

Nutrigran Bars Rule!

We all Heart the Chuck

For you Chuck Norris fans, basically everyone. Here is a brillant website to double check your Chuck Norris facts.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/



All hail the Chuck!

Love You Tender

This is the single greatest thing my eyes have beheld. If Zod from Superman 2 had a gay brother he would sing this. Thanks to Focker for the gem!

Sometimes When We Touch . . . .

A Gorgeous Duo! This is perhaps the single most painful thing I have ever watched. Please, good people do it! Watch it, enjoy it, feel it within your soul! Much Love Now---

Picture of the Day

Let's stop Terrorism one loud-mouth at a time! Are you with me people? Rosie and freakin' flop-machine Manu Ginobili should be shown the door to this fine country. USA USA USA!

Tron

Have you ever met anyone that doesn't LOVE Tron? Never because they simply do not exist. And if any of the before mentioned people say they hate Tron it's because they are a Communist and should be stoned. (Note: the creators of farting to fight terrorism do not condone violence.) Anywho, for you this Tuesday I present - - - - - Tron Guy, the Most Powerful Man in the Universe.

Pictures of the Month/Year

Everybody Hates the Packers

Just had these gems and thought I might share with you fine folks.

Our Next President? Billary! Yeah Billary, Yeah Hill Clinton.

Jazz Rule!

As a life long Jazz fan I am on cloud nine this morning after the Jazz dumped the the Golden State Warriors last night to take a 3-1 lead in their playoff series. Growing up in Arizona amongst all the stupid Suns fans grew a tight bond with the Jazz that will never die. All the national media and even the NBA seem to always want the Jazz to lose, buttheads. Screw the haters as my man Snoop Dogg would say. Watching Golden State play makes me very uneasy. Not because I think they will win the game, but because they play like it's their first time actually playing basketball. Perhaps it's that I've watched Jerry Sloan's teams for the past 20 years but I actually enjoy the discipline of an organized team, call me crazy. I knew it would be a matter of time before freakin' Nellie Ball caught up with G-State and the Jazz would take over, last night was that time. Baron and J-Rich, who I really do like, laid respective eggs and Boozer and D-Will finished the job. Now the Jazz come home tomorrow to wrap the series in 5 and await the Spurs. Hopefully the Suns beat up on them a bit to give the Jazz a rest.

Word to Eric Leckner, JJ Anderson, Jeff Wilkins, Rickey Green, Jerry Eaves, Scott Roth, Rich Kelley, Billy Pautlz, Blue Edwards, Dell Curry, Kent Benson and Kelly Tripucka!

Word to Your Moms Cause I Came to Drop Bombs

Heidi--Ho everybody, long time I know. But man has the Office been kickin lately or what? And Lost too. Gotta love that TV. Someday I will afford Tivo though and that will rule. So I've added some music to the blogger, how bitchin is that? I know, Young MC and all my old school rap friends. Love the early 90's.

Anyway, happy mother's day to you Mom's. Peace out for now.

Tipping--What a Crock

This is somthing that has bugged the crap out of me for years now. Not that I am against tipping, in fact I am totally for tipping. Tipping the pizza guy, tipping the waitress at the local Chili's, those are fine. Why then in this great country of ours does every damn person need their own tip jar? Good hell people. I'm not tipping the guy that gives me popcorn at the movie theater. Honestly, ok let me think, seven bucks for a drink and some corn oh and here pimple-faced Jimmy is a couple of bucks for you for doing nothing! Forget it. I'm done with tipping people who aren't doing anything special but there job. The pizza guy actually brings the pizza to you. I just think this new tip jar thing is so damn stupid. What's next a tip jar at the Jiffy Lube? End the suffering, end the madness. That's all I have to say about that.

Berndt Boys

Generally it's a rule for me to not write and brag about my kids. Frankly people that never shut up about their kids drive me freaking nuts and I swore I'd never be "that" guy. However, I am proud of my three boys, very much so in fact, so here is my "that" guy blog for 2007.

Here are my three lads:

James is 6 and a mad Jr. Jazz basketball player

Trey is 3 and our resident male model. This is "Blue Steel."

(Show you? I shouldn't even been talking about it!)

Devin is a year old and the best behaved baby in the history of babies. Always happy, he flat out rules.

Hopefully this post will make my lovely wife happy too, she "claims" I have too many gross photos of this blog. I'm not sure she's looking at the right one, all class. All class. Word to your moms cause I came to drop bombs.

Being Sick Sucks

Greetings once again people of the world, tis I Joshua. I, like the 765,000 other people in Salt Lake have been plagued by the flu as of late. Now I hate the flu and having a cold as much as the next guy but there is one thing I kinda like, hacking and blowing lougies. I know I know, Josh we've already heard about snot, but folks, when your life and body is filled with the stuff it's on your mind a lot. Hence the reason for this sweet ass invention I just discovered. "A Nasal Irrigation machine. " What an awesome idea. You see all the good ideas are gone, the Whoppee Cushion, Shoes, and a Nasal Irrigation machine.

Lazy Freakin' Mutts

So hey, in the spirit of this lame ass Dog stroller idea that is all the rage now, here comes this post. I still think if your dog can walk, lick it's own ass, eat it's own crap, sniff a buddy's can, drink out of a piss-stained toilet, and drop a deuce on the rug then they can walk to the damn park with a leash. Now I understand if a poor little pooch or kitty is banged up, maybe a cold or the flu during this horrid flu season, might need a lift. Or maybe that sick little kitty should be home in bed watching Judge Judy. I love that because these jackasses in Hollywood push their little mini-rats around in a stroller that everyone's got to have one. You know what Hollywood, kiss my cute little white arse alright. Now the solution. Instead of pushing this dumb ass animals around to the park and the mall, make them earn it. How about teaching our pets a little self-reliance for hell's sake. I mean someday that little poodle is gonna go off to college and get it's ass-sniffing degree from BYU. Now here's a dog that I can be pals with. This dog is doing something on his own, he's not sitting around waiting to be pampered.





Now for all you hippie pet lovers out there, go spoon with your precious Saint Bernard you freak.

Pee Standing or Sitting?

I realize it's been many many days since the last post, Snot. I apologize to my legions of adoring fans, hopefully this post, with all it's aspects will make up for the time lost. Not really, I just don't have that much fun stuff to talk about, but when something does tickle my fancy I will surely write and lo, here I am. Lot of things happening, like everyone I celebrated MLK day by moving crap from my aunt's house to my grandma's house. Not a bad day, considering it was like 8 freakin' degrees. Ok, now the fun. My little family has been quite sick with the flu and whatnot. My middle boy Trey is 3 and kind of a smart ass kid. He's had what he refers to as the "smokes." Whenever Trey has the runs, the squirts, tank tracks, etc. in his pants he calls them the smokes. Trey also refuses to take a dump, smokes and non-smokes, with the toilet seat down. He instead enjoys the cold, hard porcelain. Even in the winter--What a goof! So anyway, after wiping Trey's behind a good 8 times on Sunday my mind was on the toilet. Now I realize this is rare so bare with me. I recalled a conversation with my old friend let's call him "The Whopper." Whopper was trying to convince me it's better for a guy to take a piss sitting down like a woman. So we debated about this for some time. I can't believe it's easier--I know it's not easier. Guys just stand, zip, urinate! It's an easy three-step method that has been honored since the dawn of time. So I left that conversation thinking he was the only freak I knew. Now I find out that I have another good friend also enjoys peeing like the fairer sex. My question is the hell guys? I mean, damn. Half the fun of being a guy is peeing standing up, using a urinal at a ball game, in and out. Not waiting in line like the chicks do and miss the whole 3rd quarter. If you want to be a chick grab yourself some Julia Roberts hooker boots, do a grab and tuck down under, and where some nice cute Teddy. But please don't attempt to convince me that peeing is better sitting than standing. So what if us "standers" miss the water and piss on the sit, wall, or other item in the bathroom. Alright now. Go and Pee in peace.

Snot--Friend or Foe?

Snot

What art thou? How art thou such an important piece of life? Yes, this is another in what is sure to be a long line of disgusting posts here on the farting to fight terrorism blog. Like the other 12 million or so people that have been sick this holiday season I built up a great deal of snot.

Now, many people think I'm gross that I do this. Instead of wasting tissue and blowing my nose I just try and blow the snot right into the toilet or if you're in the shower "farmer blow" it right there. One note about the "Shower Farmer Blow", be super careful, snot likes to go at funny angles and can get stuck in your leg hairs. Then all day you have leg hairs stuck together in a crusty ball. So, when you farmer blow into the toilet do you, like me, ever have those super long pieces of illness not that don't break? Aren't these the coolest things ever. It's just you leaning over the can with a 2 foot dangling rope of snot. Really, it's beautiful. I mean, a hurricane-type wind couldn't break that string of snot. So, instead of wasting, killing, murdering innocent tissue this January, just "Farmer Blow" it man. This is Josh Berndt, take care of yourselves and each other.